Hi {{ first_name | default: there }},
As we move past the first month of the year, many of us quietly slip back into auto-pilot. The familiar routines that have kept us safe for years begin to wrap around us again.
And that’s because our brains crave safety. But that safety comes at the cost: numbness.
So a question many of us wrestle with is:
How might I maintain safety without killing aliveness?
Not just physical, financial or relational safety, but the kind that makes you feel ok with this moment without constantly pushing you to do more, learn more and be more.
Lately, I’ve noticed something in myself.
When life feels more uncertain, my mind treats the future as a threat. My sense of time compresses. Everything feels urgent. I reach for new structures: new deadlines, new decisions, new courses (another AI course anyone?).
Structure promises relief and sometimes it delivers.
But there’s a cost. Structural safety is crucial when building skyscrapers but when designing lives, too much of it can suffocate curiosity, play and the awe of the unfolding moments.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Life is uncertain. It always has been and it always will.
When you whack one mole of uncertainty, another one pops up somewhere else. It can feel like a never ending cycle.
Which means you don’t need conclusions. You need containers.
Our porter Chheme enjoying a warm cup of chiya during a rest stop to Langtang in the Himalayas in Nepal (photography by Nirish Shakya)
A conclusion decides. A container holds.
So what does a container look like?
It could be a 30- or 90-day exploration of a new direction
A season with a theme (in my case right now, that theme is IVF)
A small experiment on a new tool or practice, instead of a long-term commitment
A container creates enough structure to feel safe and enough openness to feel alive, without swinging between the extremes numbness and recklessness.
If you’re feeling stuck in the fear of uncertainty and craving a conclusion, try this:
Instead of asking, “What’s the right decision?”
Ask, “What container would let me feel 5% safer and more alive?”
That question has been changing how I relate to uncertainty.
Maybe it will for you too.
Until next time,
Nirish
